The daily dance, with cleaner, cop and motorist each playing his role…
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his past Passover we drove 800 miles to
be with our friends in Chicago. It was well
worth it, but that’s not my point. Our friends live
in Rogers Park, a vibrant, multi-racial neighborhood
on the west-end of the Windy City. Parking
was not easy, but with our Lower East Side gumption
we managed. Our first night I asked our host
what’s the alternate side schedule. A transplanted
New Yorker, he smiled knowingly. “We don’t
have any,” he said.
It turns out that a few times a year the City of
Chicago hangs warning signs on the trees along
the curb, telling motorists that the next day between
this and that hour they shouldn’t park there,
because the street is scheduled to be cleaned.
Trust me, their streets didn’t look any dirtier
than our own. The neighborhood looked lived-in,
but not dirty..
Let me ask you, do you feel our streets are cleaner
because the big zamboni comes by four times a
week and squirts a schpritz on the curb with the
broom thing rotating? If you do, let me ask you,
how come in other parts of the city they only do
the schpritz and broom show twice a week?.
Here’s what the cost of these maneuvers comes
down to: Hundreds of your neighbors spend their
best hours of the day sitting in their cars, waiting
for the stupid alternate time to expire. Mothers
leave their children, at-home workers abandon their
work, other folks interrupt their rest, only to service
the zamboni. If you don’t, the City fines you $65..
Is this really part of the Bloomberg vision of a
green future? A city full of crazed residents, wasting
their time playing a game of hide and seek with
a pretend-cleaning machine? How rational is that?
I’d venture, based on anecdotal experience, that
every $65 hit the Dept. of Parking collects off of
us costs the rest of us hundreds more in lost time.
Is this the only way to beef up our budget?.
How’s about a ransom? I’ll gladly pay $200 a
month to be able to park anywhere, other than by
a hydrant. Charge me $2400 a year, put it on my
card, and in return let me park by whatever curb I
find. The City would be able to lay off those angry
men and women in dark uniforms, send
the parking violations judges home,
save their pay and make upwards of
$4,800,000,000 in annual ransom from
our two million drivers. It’s a good deal,
Mayor Bloomberg, take it.
Yori Yanover, Editor
