by Yori Yanover

Squirrels on Grand Street Photographs by Erik Tischler

dward (Eddie) Arfe is a prosperous attorney who lives in the East River co-ops and is mild mannered, reasonable, even affectionate about most areas of life, save one: Mr. Arfe loses his good humor when it comes to squirrels.

“I went to put some garbage in the trash receptacles in the park,” Eddie Arfe recalls his evening of terror, “when all of a sudden something hit me in the chest and bounced off. That was a squirrel. Needless to say, it was quite frightening.”

Since that time Eddie has been “observing the squirrels climbing into the garbage receptacles, foraging for food,” which could mean that another innocent neighbor looking to deposit their garbage may also be attacked one of these days. But while you could attribute that attack to a fear response of a trapped animal, it’s harder to .nd excuses for other squirrel damage. “Squirrels have been eating up the wires in the cars,” complains Arfe. “There’s a young fellow who parks his car in our lot who puts mothballs under it, to discourage the squirrels from ‘visiting’ his car.”

A friend from the Seward Park co-op has complained to Arfe that she can’t sit in her park any more, because the “squirrels have become so aggressive.” And it’s not just their begging for nuts. “In previous generations, squirrels used to be intimidated” by the presence of people, says Arfe. “If you fed them they came up, but otherwise they ran away from you. Apparently we’re cultivating a breed of squirrels that are not frightened of humans.” Indeed, on a recent Saturday afternoon a squirrel ran into a local synagogue during a talk by the rabbi, and caused considerable panic. “It’s because of all the nuts there,” Arfe, who attends that synagogue, joked.

Eddie Arfe’s disdain for the bushy-tailed rodents is part of a growing concern for the harm they are causing both in cities and suburbs and out in the country. A particularly militant website, “All Squirrels Must Die!” claiming to be the “Official homepage of the Squirrel Defamation League,” www.deadsquirrel.com, “Squirrels are the most dangerous threat known to man,” states the SDL in no uncertain terms, and “if not kept in check, will be the downfall of life as we know it.”

A Daytona Beach, FL resident wrote the SDL that “several months ago... I was ambushed by almost a dozen squirrels. As I walked to my car to leave for work, they pelted me with pine cones and acorns. The cuts from the pine cones required stitches.”

The site is rife with reports about a squirrel who built a nest in a roof vent, resulting in a burnt out fan motor; a 3- story duplex where squirrels found their way into the walls of the third .oor; and one about a summer day in Central Park when the cute squirrels grabbed a hot dog straight out of somebody’s hand while he was eating. But we refuse to believe the site’s allegation that “squirrels abscond with small children.”

Sid Dinsay of the City’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene says he’s unaware of any incidents involving squirrels who attack people. He does not discount Mr. Arfe’s report. Indeed, he says that “this should be a reminder that squirrels, despite being cute and fuzzy, are wild animals and people should always take great care around them.”

“If you’ve been bitten by a squirrel, or any other wild animal,” Dinsay adds, you must “go see a doctor.” However, according to his information, squirrels are not carriers of rabies, “so people who’ve been bitten by them don’t have to worry” about that aspect of the encounter.

Caroline Hilton, also of DHMH, burst out laughing when we presented her with a rumor we’ve picked up while on this story, regarding city squirrels and rats mating to produce a new race of “super squirrels.” Then she calmed down long enough to deliver an emphatic message, that there’s absolutely “no cross breeding between squirrels and rats.”

To report an animal bite contact the Animal Bite Unit, 212.676.2483 during office hours. To report an animal bite online and for more pest control information, click here.